Goodbye, my almost lover and ultimate beauty.

When a man is really an extraordinarily smart Bella boy and a woman is really a No. 1. student in her class with the most outstanding academic performances and ultimately brilliant brain when thinking and pondering in logic, … they love each other at the beginning because they both are obsessed with each other’s brilliance but they end up hurting each other at the end with their brilliant brain. And, that’s sad. A sad love story. When both sides are all brilliant, war ensues and breaks out once passion and obsession and addiction to each other fade. A brilliant brain sometimes is an obstacle or trigger or hindrance…whatever, it’s all gone.

What kind of woman do I love? Women with the most outstanding academic performance in her class, the No.1. and Top 1 student, and with a Scarlett Johansson’s body. I met her and she simply was fully qualified. And, that’s why I was so unthinkably addicted to her. She was my queen. She had brain like no other, indeed, so brilliant. I’m an extraordinarily smart Bella boy, so I only love women with brain, and she must have a Scarlett Johansson’s body. And then, our kids will be as brilliant as she and I if we have kids. A family with brilliant brain. I hate idiots with no brain in logic. She outsmarted me in logic. She did. She was keen and sharp at math. Oh baby, she was hot when I met her that year.

That year we met, she was simply a walking Scarlett Johansson in Taiwanese flesh with ultimate, brilliant brain. And, a very sweet smile and a very gorgeous voice. Her voice was so gorgeous when she was talking, chatting, laughing. I always peeled an apple for her to eat when she came to my bedroom. She told me she loved the apple I peeled for her. She was hot and cute that year we met. We had sex. I extremely indulged myself when having sex with her ultimate gorgeous shining white body. Though she was officially Taiwanese, she was as white as Scarlett Johansson.

I did love Eric, indeed, but I was not crazy for Eric. I did love her, indeed, and I was so extremely crazy for her. This is the difference. I was not crazy for Eric, but I was so crazy for her. Today, I wanna say forever goodbye to her, my almost lover, the ultimate beauty I used to love. She turned me on whenever we dated that year. Eric did not turn me on. I’m laughing in front of my laptop. I think I am cute. I’m a very cute boy.

Anyway, in 2012, I am taken now and forever. My Boyfriend is Jesus. Jesus always tells me that IF I do wanna love a man, then I must love HIM, not any earthly guy. Or, He’s gotta kill me in a very extremely gruesome way. Jesus always threatens me that, and I do love His threatening. I know He is jealous. And, He even killed Lu in 1996, just because Lu and I were getting too close that year. You know what? I am shocked and stunned now, because Jesus kills when He gets jealous. I am really shocked and stunned. I am taken. Jesus is my Darling now and forever. And, Jesus is also my Emperor. He can kill me at any moment at any time He wants me to die very extremely gruesomely. Believe me. Jesus is God of Love, but He is also God of Kill.

In 1993, I cried for Eric, because he played cold war with me. I cried for 2 hours. In 1996, I cried for Lu, because he died suddenly. I cried for a whole night. In 2005, I cried for her, my almost lover and ultimate beauty, because we broke up. I cried for 6 months. And, she was the only one who turned me on and she was the real one and only one I did really love in all my life. A walking Scarlett Johansson in Taiwanese flesh with ultimate, brilliant brain.

In 2005, when I broke up with her, I wanted to hook up with a guy online and pretended I were a gay and I wanted to conduct gay sex just in order to forget her. I simply lost any faith in Jesus, and I wanna walked away from Jesus. Before I went out for wild sex with the gay I hooked up with online, Jesus bashed me hard and cast me down to a living hell, spitting massive blood out of my mouth from my lungs with terribly high fever and relentless coughing that night. And, that whole week, I was just almost killed by Jesus. Just almost. The divine pneumonia time bomb implanted by Jesus simply ferociously exploded in my lungs that night and that whole week. I ended up crying bursting into massive tears on Sunday church service, crying for mercy, repenting over and over again. And then, Jesus healed me, but didn’t cure me. The bomb is still in my lungs now.

This was my love story. My marriage failed in 2005. She used to be my only love. She had brain like no other. She was so sexy, gorgeous like no other. She was my Queen. This love story ended on August 2, 2005. That night, I left her. I was heart-broken and I was even crying in my own bedroom for 6 months. That year, I felt so hopeless when our marriage failed. I didn’t know what to do. I lost faith in Jesus. And, I cried, cried, cried, for 6 months, mourning my failed marriage. It’s a sad love story. I just wanted to walk away from Jesus and pretended I were a gay and I wanted to have gay sex, all of which extremely infuriated Jesus very much. So, Jesus bashed me really hard that year. I almost got killed by Jesus in 2005. Just almost, after my marriage failed.

She was a Pentecostal Christian, too. We were very close in our marriage. I met her in church service on a Sunday. We prayed together. We sided with each other and stood by with each other when fighting spiritual warfare against Satan. We had sex. We did almost everything all together. Honestly, she was absolutely the only one I did love on the planet earth in my earthly flesh, indeed. We used to be so intimately close and we always watched out for each other and stood by with each other and sided with each other when fighting spiritual warfare against Satan and its evil spirits. Sometimes, we even fasted for each other when in great danger. She was my beloved warrior team member, my only team member, in spiritual warfare against Satan.

When I was spiritually weak or physically sick, she was my guard and she earnestly prayed for me and even fasted for me. She was the only one on the planet earth that was willing to fast for me when I was in great danger. And, I did the same for her. We used to be a pair of spiritual warriors fighting against Satan and its evil spirit followers. But, not anymore. Now, I’m all by myself. Jesus told me that even I failed my marriage, He always loves me unconditionally and irrevocably. And, Jesus still wanted to remind me that the divine pneumonia time bomb implanted by Him is still in my lungs always till the end of the world. Jesus told me firmly He’s not gotta cure me or even remove this bomb away from my lungs. NEVER. This bomb is still in my lungs, but in a dormant state.



About usachinanukewar

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
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